The depressive, "Oh my gosh, my life is sooooo bad. Pay attention to me!", type of blog. You've all read them. But I really don't want this to be like that. I guess you've been warned. Go ahead and stop reading if you like. I just need to clear my head of all these disgusting thoughts.
I keep dreaming about the people that I don't even want to think about in daily life. For the sake of typing ease, I'll call them 1, 2, and 3. Who knows if I'll even reference them as I write this. Whatever. I'm too lazy to delete the sentence. I think a lot of this is just fear spilling over from other parts of my life. School stress, maybe. I have no idea. But it's scary. I wake up some mornings with 1, 2, 3, or a combination of them on my mind. And then, I feel this... paralysis, this... I don't even know how to explain. It's this lack of anything. But there's fear. And dread. I just feel stuck. And racing in my head are all of these thoughts related to confrontation with these three people. I don't ever want that. I don't want to have to face them. And chances are, I never will. The likelihood of me ever seeing 2 or 3 again in any setting where it's necessary that I interact is slim, but it frightens me more than I can explain. Only 1 is in my life in any sort of interaction-based relationship. Not that we ever really speak. Around 1, I swear I could be convinced that I'm just a piece of furniture.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
naturally I'm interested in who the three are, though I wouldn't expect you to tell me.
ReplyDelete